The Art of Not Doing the Thing
Have you ever told yourself, "I really need to take out the trash," only to find yourself reorganizing your bookshelf instead? Or maybe you put off responding to an email by suddenly deciding it’s the perfect time to deep-clean your kitchen grout. If so, congratulations! You may have experienced demand avoidance—an often misunderstood, sometimes comical, and frequently frustrating behavioral response.
What Is Demand Avoidance?
Demand avoidance is exactly what it sounds like: a strong (and often illogical) resistance to doing something you’re expected, requested, or required to do. It’s not just procrastination—it’s a deep, sometimes involuntary aversion to demands, even ones we place on ourselves.
For some, demand avoidance is an occasional annoyance ("I’ll start that diet... tomorrow"). For others, it’s a significant challenge that impacts daily functioning.
Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?
Ah, the million-dollar question. Demand avoidance isn’t just about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s often rooted in:
Autonomy needs – We like to feel in control. If something has to be done, our brain rebels like a teenager hearing "clean your room."
Anxiety – The pressure to complete a task can trigger avoidance, especially if there’s fear of failure.
Executive dysfunction – Struggles with task initiation (looking at you, ADHD folks) can make even simple responsibilities feel like scaling Mount Everest in flip-flops.
Emotional resistance – If a task feels overwhelming, unfair, or boring, our brain goes, "Nope. Not today."
The Many Flavors of Demand Avoidance
People who struggle with demand avoidance tend to get creative in their avoidance techniques. You might recognize some of these classic strategies:
The Productive Procrastinator – "I can't pay bills right now—I absolutely must alphabetize my spice rack first!"
The Negotiator – "If I answer two emails, then I get a 20-minute TikTok break, right?"
The Avoidance Acrobat – "I’ll start that project right after I watch one episode of this show… oh look, it's a 10-hour Netflix binge."
The Overthinker – "I can’t start because I need to research exactly how to do it perfectly first. Cue six hours lost to Google."
How to Outsmart Your Own Brain
If demand avoidance is making your life harder, here are some strategies to trick yourself into actually doing the thing:
Make it a game – Challenge yourself to finish the task before a song ends or race against a timer.
Lower the stakes – Instead of saying, "I must clean the whole house," tell yourself, "I’ll just do five minutes." (Spoiler: You’ll probably do more.)
Use reverse psychology – Tell yourself, "I absolutely CANNOT start this project yet!" Sometimes, rebellion works in your favor.
Break it into bite-sized pieces – If "write a report" sounds awful, start with "open the document." Then, "write one sentence." Progress is progress!
Enlist an accountability buddy – It’s easier to follow through when someone else is watching. Bonus points if they have snacks.
Final Thoughts
Demand avoidance isn’t just a quirk—it’s a real challenge that affects motivation, productivity, and mental well-being. The key is to approach it with curiosity, humor, and a few sneaky psychological tricks. And hey, if you managed to read this whole article instead of avoiding something important… well, you’re already winning!
